The Blessing Of Being Unbothered

One of the many blessings I have found in getting older for me is just not caring! I remember spending too much of my life caring what people thought about me, what they said, what they felt about me. Shout Out to all the recovered People Pleasers!!!

How does one become a People Pleaser, you asked? Oh, you didn’t ask, but I am going to tell you anyway !!!

PP going forward is how I will refer to People Pleasing. PP starts from childhood. It begins with the spirit of REJECTION! When a child feels rejected, they strive to earn love and affection from their caregiver and those around them. They do everything in their power to become almost perfect, so that they gain the attention and approval of their caregiver. They try and try, but it is never enough – maybe because the caregiver is neglectful, abusive, has unrealistic expectations of the child, and/or maybe the child has perceived some form of rejection through a demonic seed that was planted that is often a lie that grows until that child perceives it as the truth.

For some of us, maybe it was the absence of a parent, the absence of real affection, the emotional and physical neglect and /or abuse, the feeling of not being wanted or being in the way, or being compared – it could have been some or all of these factors that led to us becoming PP.

Psalm 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

When I first read this scripture, it felt like God had reached down from heaven and given me the biggest bear hug ever! It felt like when your house is clean, you got something good to eat, you just got paid, all your bills are paid, you're about to binge-watch that show you like, and nobody is home but you …. You see what I’m saying, right?  

Yes, it was peace, joy, safety all wrapped in one.

But if it was just that simple, I probably wouldn’t be writing this cause I’m here to give the good, bad, and the ugly.

No, it wasn't a divine overnight revelation; it took decades for my spirit to truly receive this word. There was some time before I saw that scripture, and even after that, I lived my life based on the opinions and feelings of others.

I made major life decisions, disrespected myself and others, wasted thousands of dollars, stayed in situations way too long, and got into situations I should have never been in to begin with!

Rejection, like most evil spirits, never comes in alone because with rejection came the trio: Anxiety, Worry, and Fear. These three travel in a pack because you never have one feeling without the other. PP not only suffer from rejection, but they have intense anxiety, they worry constantly, and are afraid of losing people on a hyper-level.

Romans 8:6

The mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace,

PP are also weighed down by the masquerading spirit because in order to keep and make everyone happy, PP have to wear different masks, constantly shapeshifting and being and doing things they do not want to keep people and protect their image in front of people.

Did you know that People Pleasing is a form of idolatry?

When a person spends more time focusing on making another human like them, love them, want them- doing the absolutely most to keep the approval of others, sets their affections on the things below, but has neglected their relationship, their worship of the one who created them...... If God, If Jesus, If The Holy Spirit does not come first in your life, IT IS IDOLATRY!

In the beginning, it is ingrained as a part of who you are, your personality – your generous, your giving, your caring, your nice, your kind, you’re a ride or die !!!!  Lol! It feels like a good thing -until you wake up one day and realize how much it costs to keep up the façade, to keep the friends, the loved ones, the people around you happy at the cost of your happiness and peace!

When your spirit begins to cry out:  Enough is Enough!!! No More!!!

2 Thessalonians 3:16

Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

When you get tired, I mean good and tired, because that is the only way PP changes. ? It is that one thing that pushes you over the edge, the one thing that breaks the camel's back, that one thing that makes you feel lower than the dirt on the ground, or so angry you see yourself in them orange is the new black type clothes.

So, How Do You Become Truly Unbothered? Truly Not Care in a Good Way?

1.      Heal that child and adult– let them know it was not their fault – none of it – the hurt they caused you was about them and their deficits, not about you!

2.      Find out who you are, separate others’ opinions and words from your identity. Who

Does God say you are?

3.      Use the word of God to answer every negative thought and word, every evil,

degrading, lying word curse spoken over you from your beginning to now- we are to

cast down EVERYTHING that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.

4.      Finally, realize that it is NOT your job to keep anyone happy, real love and

acceptance encompasses our flaws, and the only acceptance you will ever need is

from the KING OF GLORY!

Psalm 119:165

Abundant peace belongs to those who love Your law; nothing can make them stumble.

 When you read about Jesus, he was not concerned about what others thought; he did not seek or look for approval from anyone except the Father, not even from his own parents. He felt pain, he hurt emotionally, but all of his faith and expectation came from his father, God!

He knew who he was and who he belonged to, and not even the enemy could tempt him!

Remember, If you keep your heart and hands pure, humble yourself, apologize when you have done wrong, live as righteously as you can and do the will of God you never have to worry about what people who are flesh and blood like you, who can’t put you in a heaven or a hell and who don’t make the sun rise and set in your life think or feel !!

Shout out to The Peacefully UnBothered ! Thank you for reading another Moody Mindsets blog.