Don't Require From Others What You are Not

“If it’s not in you, don’t place it on them.”- Anonymous

Proverbs 26:12

Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

This one was hard. Writing this one was challenging in so many ways because I had to look back at the person I was and some of the chaos I caused myself and others operating from this place.

Thinking that you know everything, are always right, and then on top of it are judgmental is a recipe for destruction! Because no one can help you, correct you, you can't grow, you are blind, and running around with zero understanding and just out of line constantly ! You have an opinion on everything and everyone, and none of it is good! Because in your eyes, everyone should think, be, and act like you !

We are called to lovingly chastise one another, but not to judge. I was a walking, talking nightmare. Yes, there was good in me, but the enemies' hold on my life suffocated all of it! Judgmental, self-righteous, and just hypocritical, because I could mask my sin, hide it, and for appearances' sake, I had it all together, and it was a LIE !!!

We are always trying to change someone; we all have that person or people in our lives that if they would just do this, then that would be better, or if God would just send this type of person to me, then everything would be fine. This may or may not be so , but ONE thing that we must look at when we start to truly accept God is the TRUTH ! I’m always talking about the truth because the longer we lie to ourselves, the longer things stay the same!

For example? When you're asking God to send you that spouse and you're looking at your checklist, do you embody the things you are asking for?

You want someone loyal, faithful, who adores you, will respect you, treat you right, can provide for you, and someone you can be yourself with. They have to have their stuff together for the most part, right? But ask yourself ?

Why would God send you his daughter or son, who you require to have all of these things, when you yourself do not embody or have them?

Notice I said God Sent , because everyone that comes to you is NOT from God! It is true, we know in some instances opposites attract, but this does not mean we are to be unequally yoked!

Matthew 7:5

You hypocrite! First, take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Before you ask God to send you someone or change someone around you,

Consider these things:

• You want your children to be obedient and to submit to you, but you are disobedient, refuse to submit to God, and deliberately sin even though you know better.

• You want people you encounter to be loving and accepting towards you, but you are slanderous, mean-spirited, constantly causing infighting and confusion, and to top it off are unforgiving, still holding on to offenses that occurred years ago.

• You require respect- but you don’t respect yourself. Think about it, and I’m sure you can find ways in which you abuse yourself

• You want loyalty and faithfulness – but you haven’t been faithful or loyal to the one who created you. He is an afterthought, someone to call on when you're in need or when things go your way

• You want consistency- but you're inconsistent in your walk, the things you promise to do, you make promises to yourself and God that you do not keep, and there is very little discipline in your life to things that will grow your purpose.

• You want someone healthy & attractive -as we all do, but how do you take care of yourself physically- do you eat whatever you want, no self-care, live a life that is hard on your body

• You want someone who is financially stable and doing well – how do you spend and utilize your money? Do you save, invest, give to the poor, use wisdom, make sound financial decisions, or are you trying to keep up with the Joneses?

• You want a man or woman of God , but are you ready for the level of requirements that will come with that type of relationship? Ready to submit, to admit your wrong at times, pray and fast together, stay committed when the relationship changes, and you change over time? Ready to fight against the demons and human agents that want to destroy your relationship with God and each other?

Basically, if you are being 100% truthful, would you want to be around, date, or marry you as you are right now?  

I can honestly say that years ago, I would not have wanted to have me as a spouse , but like attracts like, and that is what I got. I was the Red Flag !!  Today, because God delivered me out of the hand of the enemy, and because I was willing to let go of that false image, bad habits, and those destiny-destroying relationships. I can with 100% say I am someone I would want to be with ,flaws and all .

Matthew 5:16: "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

So when your children, friends, family, acquaintances, people you encounter in the world  

begin to act up , first ask yourself what am I showing , what am I doing , how am I presenting and representing God’s kingdom . Is my walk as righteous as it can be? Are there any areas I need to address and clean up in my life? Once you have done the introspection and, in truth, found no habitual sin or offense in you, then you can, as we say, “Place them on the altar of the Lord! Lol !!

Now you all know there is a line, some people or situations will never change without Jesus, regardless of how much you grow and change in Christ. I always encourage following the leading of the Holy Spirit, but I also promote wisdom and boundaries. Instead of focusing on these people and circumstances, pray for them and FOCUS ON YOU!  

Luke 12:56 - Ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky and of the earth; but how is it that ye do not discern this time?

Many times, we have a hard time seeing in others what we cannot see in ourselves. We want people to be what we are not! We look at each other through the lenses of the enemy, who is the accuser of the brethren, ready to find fault and lack in us!

So before you write that prayer in your journal, go into your prayer closet, get on your knees, start that shower prayer, that car prayer, or wherever you seek God to ask for him to change that person or circumstance – DO a Spirit Check, confess your faults and then pray for that person and situation, and let God have his way!

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11