Allowing The Flesh to Consume You by Allison Rouse - Guest Writer

Allison Rouse - Co-Writer and Author

Pleasing God, while trying not to feed into your flesh, is one of the hardest battles I’ve

ever had to face.

As a young woman in her 20s growing her faith, this has not been easy. To see friends your age living a life of pleasure and amusement, often times, I felt left out. I had my fun, but my fun came with consequences because I knew better. I have this constant nagging internal conflict of “I want to live my best life” while also wanting to grow my relationship with God.

This battle has caused me to lead by emotions instead of following the word of God.

Many of us are guilty of doing so, especially when it comes to anger.

The bible says, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20 NKJV).

I struggle with this verse quite often. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this verse to myself in the heat of the moment, and the flesh has overpowered me instead of the word. After I feed into my flesh, sometimes I’d look back and say to myself, Did you really have to let it go that far? Physically, I felt wonderful afterwards. I felt that I made my point, but spiritually, I was disappointed in myself.

I felt that God was testing me, and I failed almost every time.

Not having a handle on my emotions put me in a lot of complicated situations. I would

often say to myself, I’m still young. It’s okay for me to act this way. It’s fine to smoke and drink when someone upsets me. It’s fine to be angry all the time; it will pass. I allowed myself to feel every single emotion. No matter if it was right or wrong.

The way I dealt with someone disrespecting me is to disrespect them right back. The way I’ve handled moving on from friendships or relationships was to just replace them. It meant absolutely nothing to me. All while still having my growing relationship with God.

“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the

Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life” (Galatians 6:8 NKJV).

This resonates with me now more than ever because, as I grow my faith in God, I am still

also learning all of life’s lessons. One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced was moving in with a man way before I was ready. Life threw a curveball at me. It took patience that I did not have.

Certain situations would arise, and I would handle them in ways that made me remember the

experiences I had growing up watching my parents live together. When they argued, all I ever saw was anger. There was no patience. There was no praying. As a result, I grew up taking some of those bad lessons with me. I fed my flesh. I was not concerned with my partner’s feelings.

I thought yelling, being dismissive, and running to smoke or drink is what solved the problem.

If I felt he did something wrong, I emasculated him. That’s all I’ve ever known to do.

After years of going through hardships, we decided it was best to part ways for a bit. During this time, I relied on the comfort of all the wrong things. Instead of turning to God to ask for

direction, guidance, and learning to forgive, I relied on friendships that were not good for me.

I brought back people from the past that should have STAYED IN THE PAST.

I was heavily distracted by feeding my flesh because I was angry at the turmoil that had ruined our relationship over time. I felt that I had suffered enough. I said to myself, “I did everything right; it’s my turn to be happy.” I prayed to God often, but I felt I couldn’t hear him during these times.

Yet each time I opened the wrong doors, I heard God every time. I am guilty of saying I ignored him. Yet he stayed with me. He protected me even while I was selfishly pouring into myself.

It felt easier to hide from God instead of facing him in these moments because I felt bad.

I view my relationship with God as a father/daughter bond, and oftentimes it was hard to face the reality of what I’ve done. I would hear his voice in my head telling me not to do certain things, but I was disobedient and proceeded with my wrongdoings because I wanted

IMMEDIATE RELIEF.

Asking myself often, how is God constantly able to forgive me after all

of my mistakes ??

The temporary bliss I sought pushed me further away from God. It took me to lose all these doors I opened up for myself. Hours of sitting in silence, praying and crying,

wondering “Why can’t I just have what I want to make me happy,” to realize, this was never

really making me happy. I was just feeding into my flesh.

God will always provide on HIS

timing, not yours.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27 NKJV)